It's beginning to feel a lot like......nothing.

It is December 22nd. I can't believe it. But it feels like it's August. Okay, no, it doesn't, not the weather at least because it's freezing and there's a ton of snow. So February maybe. But it doesn't feel like Christmas time at all. My mom has hardly been home at all and Julia has been in the hospital for over 3 weeks. Maybe the saddest part is that it doesn't even feel very weird. I feel like she's in the hospital the same amount of time that she is home. But she has never been in the hospital on Christmas. With my family dissolving, Christmas doesn't really have much meaning to me anymore. It's nice to see all the lights up and drive around in the snow listening to Christmas music, and of course the tree is beautiful, but what is Christmas really? It should be a time that you're with your family and thankful that they are around you....kind of impossible for me. I wish I could be thankful for what I have. Yes, I love my friends to death, but they all have their own families. Oh well I guess life just isn't fair.