Thursday, December 27, 2012


Even one little word can bring a memory rush back to me and make me so, so sad. I hate how in matter of 30 seconds I can go from being perfectly content, reading a book, to sobbing and feeling so low.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Thoughts on Christmas

My Christmas is pretty much never normal. Ever since this horrible disease took over my family's life years ago. My sister is in the hospital for Christmas, but sadly, that is nothing new. This Christmas, I didn't really ask for anything. Opening up gifts was the farthest thing from my mind this morning. (I still haven't opened most of my gifts, just a few things from my mom). Anyways, in some ways, I am glad to have such a different mindset from mostly everyone I know my age. People were tweeting, instagramming, and texting about all of the things they got for Christmas and how excited they were to open their presents. The best part of my day was spending quality time with my mom. I really hate the holidays, but I know I might come to like them again. If I have to be thankful for something, I'm glad that I know what's really important in life rather than getting caught up in all the materialistic things like nearly everyone I know. I wish I could tell everyone just to stop thinking about what they are getting for five minutes and enjoy time with their family because those moments can be ripped away from your life without a moment's notice and you can never get them back.

Sunday, December 16, 2012


I've discovered you know you're truly an adult when you start taking care of your parents instead of it being the other way around

Monday, December 10, 2012

Cutesy post

Normally I hate when people post about sick cutesy stuff but I was studying with the boy yesterday and he threw a paper airplane at me with this little note on it. It made me smile the whole night and I just looked at it again as a pick me up for studying. God I seriously got lucky. :)

Monday, November 19, 2012

Music Monday

I originally heard this on Tumblr and immediately became obsessed. Then I finally found a version on YouTube so I could download it! I'm not really a Glee fan, but I LOVE this song by Imagine Dragons, and this is so beautiful, the play count is already nearing 30 on my iTunes.

Sunday, November 18, 2012


Have any of you all ever ordered from Tobi? Some of my sorority sisters have and really like it! I want to try it, especially since your first order is 50% off! Not being able to try things on makes me a little nervous, so I'd definitely have to measure myself if I ordered anything. Anyways, here's what I'd want to get!
(Not really in season)

Love for a LBD!

There's a LOT more, but I've already spent way too much time on this site! Hmm, I have a feeling I'll be ordering soon.


I wish you could make people sign a contract saying they won't leave you or stop loving you. Is that what a marriage license is? Idk I have weird thoughts

Friday, November 16, 2012

I hate being home. I hate it. Everything bad that can't get to me as much when I'm at school hits me so hard here. I'm so unhappy and so sad but I don't even have the right to be because I have the best life of anyone in this family. I just wish I could be stronger for them

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Freaked out

I am so scared. I've been so scared and sad all of the time I feel like I am headed for the biggest breakdown and I don't know what to do about it or stop it

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I made a really bad mistake and it has had serious bad consequences on me. I just hate myself I feel so low right now. There is nothing to do to fix this I am so unhappy and I just want to cry all the time. How do I get out of feeling like this I hate when I have no control over my life all I want is some control and to take it back

Monday, October 29, 2012

Music Monday

As obsessed as I am with Taylor Swift's new CD RED (my favorites are:red, I knew you were trouble, all too well, 22, holy ground, and come back be here), but I'm also LOVING this throwback today. Of course Taylor has a song for every mood I'm in.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012


Everyone, this is so funny! Sorry this isn't a real post, but I just wanted to share it cause it made my day!
21 Most Awkward Situations

Friday, October 12, 2012


I'm pretty unsure about the whole religion thing, but I think I may have been sent an angel. For the first time I know someone who actually truly cares about me and wants to listen and is probably one of the nicest most genuine people I've ever met. I feel stupid writing this because I haven't even known him for very long, but it feels so good to just have someone to talk to and listen to me. I hope I don't mess anything up

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough I don't know why
Lana del Rey

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Why can't any of the adults in my life actually act like adults? Why do I have to take care of everyone when I can hardly take care of myself?

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Changin it up

Hi everyone! So I have realized my past few posts have been extremely depressing. My bad. My life doesn't totally suck 100% of the time, I think I just always blog when I'm emotional cause I don't know who to talk to about it. Anyways, here are some things I'm loving right now:
1. THE OLYMPICS!!!! Totally obsessed. I'm being antisocial these weeks because I need to watch as much as possible. My favorite event is the swimming by far (maybe because I used to swim competitively) but I also love the women's gymnastics. I totally had tears in my eyes during the awards ceremony tonight.
 Love Missy Franklin and the fact that she was wearing pearls at her awards ceremony:)

2. Only 9 more days left of work! I'm glad I'm working so much this summer because Lord knows I need to save money, but if you know me, you know how draining it's been on me. I'll be so happy to finally have freedom.
3. Francesca's (the store). So obsessed. They have the cutest stuff right now! Went there today and accidentally bought 3 tops, woops. But they are having a buy one get one 50% off sale, so that makes it a little better, right? That's just what I'll tell myself but for the most part, they are reasonably priced and good quality.

Hopefully another post to come soon as long as this work week's not too tough! Xoxox, Anne

Saturday, July 28, 2012


I've been remembering a lot of things from the past lately. They just come and flood my head and I can't stop them. I laugh at first and then cry because they're gone and they will never be back. Sometimes I wish I could forget my entire childhood because it just hurts so much to look back and know that things will never be like that, I don't know if I can ever be as happy as I was when Julia was well. I miss her so much and it's so hard.

Sunday, July 15, 2012


Sometimes I am so stressed out I don't know what to do. I always have head aches and I just dread going home. I don't even know where the stress comes from it's just this feeling of tension that I always have and carry with me. My mom just came into my room and basically dumped all of her problems on me and I feel bad, I really do. I want to help her. It's just that I feel like I'm hardly surviving and there's no way to tell her that. No one knows but I feel like I'm hanging on by a string. Maybe I'm exaggerating. I go out with my friends sometimes and have fun, but the second it's over, everything comes rushing back to me. How do people deal with life. It's just too hard sometimes.

Thursday, July 12, 2012


Blog readers,
The other day (tuesday) I fainted for the first time EVER. Such a strange experience and who knows if it will happen again so I have to document it. I don't know why it happened. Maybe because I took one of my codeine pills for my leg and those sometimes make me a little light-headed. But nothing like this. So I took it and felt like normal, then about an hour later, I had a headache/stomachache combo and just felt awful. Unfortunately, that combination is not rare for me so I didn't think much of it. I had dinner with my mom and sister since I hadn't eaten for a while ( I had a turkey burger and salad it was delicious) and I just felt like I was going to throw up. My mom was telling me something and taking forever to tell her story and I just remember thinking hurry up! And I was nearly falling into my salad plate. Next thing I know I am lying on the ground and my mother is SCREAMING my name over and over. I felt so weak like I couldn't move. Plus my head and stomach felt worse than ever. The weird thing is it was like I was waking up from a dream because I could kind of remember what I was thinking about, but it slipped away from me really quickly. Apparently my mom had been calling my name for like 3 minutes and I was just lying there in a blackout. I was so hot and clammy when I woke up and my dad brought me a pillow and cold cloth for my head (so thoughtful) so I could rest on the ground. Then I went upstairs and got in my bed and rested for the remainder of the night.
Sadly, this is the most exciting thing that has happened to me all summer. Oh well! But now I am scared to take my pain meds again which is really unfortunate because they help so much. Well that's it for now. Except for today I nearly couldn't breathe at work and kept coughing so I think I might be developing asthma. Which would be cool because I've always wanted an inhaler and it would be nice to have something to help with the coughing fits. Well more news if that turns into anything! xoxox

Saturday, July 7, 2012

more than usual

Most people see me as a happy-go-lucky, carefree person. If only they could see me inside where I am so sad all of the time. And it can never get better. I MISS MY SISTER. SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND, THE FUNNIEST PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, ALWAYS HAD MY BACK, WOULD LISTEN TO ME, AND EVEN THOUGH WE FOUGHT ALL THE TIME WE LOVED EACH OTHER AND WERE THE BEST FRIENDS EVER. There, I said it. Just because I don't talk about it doesn't mean it's not always on my mind. There's just some stuff you don't say in normal conversations. Like hi how are you oh I'm not very good I'm watching my sister slowly die and she won't even hug me or talk to me anymore. It just will never happen. The past week, I've been sadder than usual and I just don't know why some days it decides to hit me so hard. Life isn't fair, that is the only truth I know in the world.

"There is no answer; there's just life"-oth

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

"Sometimes surviving's about all the living I can handle"- Peyton Sawyer

Watching one tree hill can always make me feel better. A lot of people don't like Peyton Sawyer, but I really relate to her, going on even with everything she's lost. Not many people know what it's like to lose so much at such a young age and feel that bitter pain. Waking up everyday and being hit with a wall of emotions that you are trying to run away from but just have to face head on no matter how much it hurts.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

"There's no time like the present to make a fresh start"- Lauren Conrad

hahaha misunderstood d-bag, maybe my favorite.

Oh my gosh I hope this is real.