Sunday, January 27, 2013

I need to post this hilarious link in my blog so I never lose it. If you need a good laugh just read through! I will never understand some people

Monday, January 21, 2013

So mad at myself

I hate myself I really do. I was so down and sad and in a bad mood all weekend which just made me extremely unpleasant. The reason I went home was to spend time with my mom and cheer her up but my mood got in the way and I basically acted terrible the whole time. Now I'm back at school and I miss her so much and it's like well I didn't even show her I loved her at all while I was actually with her. I cried so many times on the car ride back and couldn't breathe I almost had to pull over and I'm crying now silently in my bed. Why can't I control my emotions ever I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I am so sad and unhappy I right now I just want to cry so much and I can hardly see as I type this why can't I just be the person that I want to be instead I ruin everything and make myself so miserable I can't stand it

Sunday, January 20, 2013

I am so scared and worried that I'll be like this for my entire life. So sad and down and just feeling so worthless and upset all the time. It used to be that I was mostly happy and sometimes down but now it's like I'm mostly down and sometimes happy. Why do I get like this. I try I figure out what sets it off but I just don't know I hope I can find a way out of it

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Bad reaction

Why did I come home I've been here for about 2 hours and I can't think or breathe just freak out and cry I just don't get why I am having this reaction it's worse than any anxiety attack I usually get and I have to hide it from my mom she wanted me to come home so badly I need someone to hold me and play with my hair and whisper to me it's alright I just need someone

Tuesday, January 1, 2013


I can sense a really big anxiety attack coming on. All I want to do is cry myself to sleep but that's not really an option with five roommates. Never thought I'd say it but I am so homesick I just do not want to be here at all