upset

i feel like i only write in this when i'm upset, but i just can't help it. i don't even want to say what happened because it is embarrassing but i am just SO upset. i don't think anyone knows that this is bothering me but i want to try to keep it together and not seem like i am dying inside. much worse things have happened in my life, and this is hardly the end of the world, but sometimes it's hard to handle disappointments.

ughhh

sometimes i honestly hate my life. i was convinced for a while that i liked it, but not anymore. today i did not vacuum the house so my parents completely blew up at me. i'm sorry i didn't vacuum. i really didn't feel like it. i will do it tomorrow. why is it such a big deal???? but now everyone is mad at each other and it is awful. ahhhhhh

baby names

sometimes, i go to baby name websites and look for names i like for my future children. is that weird?

SNOW

Today was the first snow of the season, at least in Virginia! it is so pretty, and just makes everything seem better. we have decorated our room and i have been listening to a lot of christmas music, but now i really feel like i'm in the spirit for the holidays! i am excited to go home, kind of. i'm just worried i will fight with my mom again like last time, but i'm hoping that since it's a longer break, that won't happen. anyways, let it snow let it snow let it snow!

post secret

i LOVE post secret, it always brightens my day. i try to savor them, and only let myself read three at a time so it lasts longer. it makes sundays soo much better.

sixth grade or college?

I am SO frustrated. i absolutely hate being home. i know i sound like a brat, but it's true. my mom refuses to let me hang out with people, so i am trapped in the house with nothing to do. i am seriously close to tears out of sheer frustration. she thinks she has complete control over me even though i am a LEGAL ADULT. i try to be nice, but there is only so much i can honestly do. it has only been one day and i want to go back to richmond so badly, i cannot take this. and what am i going to do over winter break?! i cannot handle three weeks of my mom getting mad at me over the smallest things, like the tone of my voice, and then grounding me. I asked her what i did wrong, and she said "nothing, you've just done nothing nice." what does she want me to do???? i suffered through watching the grinch for the 15th time with them and hung out with my sister and her all day. all i want to is throw up. three days until i go back!

two weeks

and i will be home!!! i am so excited, i miss my family and friends so much. but i also miss chicago like CRAZY and the midwest!!! many people look down on the midwest, but there is something about it that is more warm and comforting than the east coast. i don't know if that's exactly right, but it's how i feel right now. i just feel more at home there! i am only going to be home for five short days but i will make the most of it because it will be so much fun!!! on the other hand, tonight was fun because we went out to dinner to carytown burgers which was really good! it was so nice to get off campus, because it can get so boring and monotonous here. anyways i am counting down, fourteen days to go!!!!!